I Am Neither Here Nor There

Come open minded, and with an open heart.

A few days ago, Someone sent me a podcast recently that framed intuition, inner knowing, and embodied spirituality as something evil, the work of darkness.

I felt resistance at first. Not because of shame, or self doubt, but I felt categorized, and deeply misunderstood.

Then I paused.

I listened to the entire message, with an open mind, and an open heart.

I knew this person, I love unconditionally that person, I love their jounrey, their faith, and their spirit. I knew it was not to condemn me, I knew it was not meant to harm me, or dismiss me, so I Listened inward. And what I found wasn’t fear or confusion, it was peace.

Because I realized something important: I’m neither there, nor here.

I’m not inside that framework at all. I do not live in a black and white world.

I am not New Age, and I am not Religious

If you listen closely to the teachings attributed to Jesus, not the institutions built around him, but the heart of his words: inner knowing was never condemned. It was invited.

When spirituality is divided into right vs wrong, light vs dark, or God vs intuition, I return to something older and quieter, direct experience.

Across religions, mysticism, and modern spirituality, the message is consistent:

Truth is not imposed.

It is recognized.

“The kingdom of God is within you.”

Jesus, Luke 17:21

This is not metaphorical. It is experiential.

“Why do you not judge for yourselves what is right?”

Luke 12:57

Discernment was expected, not outsourced.

In Eastern and mystical traditions, the same knowing is named differently:

“The mind is everything. What you think, you become.”

The Buddha

Awareness precedes belief.

“Truth is one; the wise call it by many names.”

Rig Veda 1.164.46

Different languages. Same source.

In modern spiritual psychology, inner knowing is recognized biologically and neurologically:

“The body keeps the score.”

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk

Wisdom is held in the nervous system, not just the intellect.

Jesus himself measured truth not by doctrine, but by outcome:

Darkness does not belong to one belief system.

Harm, manipulation, ego, and control exist everywhere humans exist.

To include, in churches and in New-Age spaces, in religion and in spirituality, in doctrine and in self-proclaimed enlightenment.

Religious spaces can distort faith through fear, hierarchy, shame, and obedience.

Spiritual spaces can distort truth through bypassing, ego inflation, exploitation, and avoidance of accountability.

Neither gets a free pass.

Jesus himself warned about this, not by naming labels, but by naming fruit:

“You will know them by their fruits.”

Matthew 7:16

Does it bring peace or fear?

Connection or separation?

Wholeness or control?

Even Jesus was accused of working through dark forces - (Matthew 12:24)

Not because he was dangerous, but because his authority did not come from institutions, or indoctrinated law.

Mystics are often misunderstood for the same reason.

Intuition. Embodiment. Inner guidance. Healing.

These are not new.

They are not evil.

They are human.

I don’t feel pulled away from love.

I don’t feel disconnected from God.

I don’t feel afraid.

By the only measure that has ever mattered: the fruit, my path leads toward compassion, regulation, humility, unconditional love and life.

I can honor religious devotion.

I can honor spiritual exploration.

And I don’t need to collapse myself into anyone else’s framework to do so.

The truth does not require fear to be sacred.

And inner knowing does not oppose God, it has always been one of the ways we experience the divine.

Much love

Intra Muros Wisdom